Behind hidden doors
by The Raven Bearer Princess
Summary: Severus was in love and doesn't understand what has happened to his beloved Lilly. Will he find out or will he have lost her to James forever


Chapter one

Behind the fury, beats a heart

"Lily?." I half yelled, half whispered. It being night I had to relying on hearing her voice.

"Severus, is that you?" I heard a small voice whisper.

"Lumos." I whispered under my breath. I could now see the freckles on her face.

"I see you got my letter Lily." I smiled my very rare smile reserved for her.

"Yes, Severus I don't think we can be together. Not with that insufferable Potter stalking me like I'm a lost sheep." She looked down at her shoes.

"Lily listen to me, I can't keep pretending that I don't have any feelings for you. So what if that potty-head looks at you. He may stare at your face but only I can see your true beauty." To this she smiled.

"Severus, I don't know." She said staring back at her shoes.

"Lily, I love you. I won't let any harm come to you." I said looking into her eyes.

This was more then a week ago, she is sill avoiding me. I haven't heard her voice in so long. She sits with Potter, but you can see in her eyes that she isn't happy. My eyes caught hers, she looked as if she was crying out for help. I got up and walked over to her.

"Lily, we need to talk." I said sternly.

"I'm sorry, but Lilly doesn't want to talk to you." James said smirking.

"I really don't think it's up to you." I looked towards lily.

"Please?" She nodded and got up. We walked out of the great hall.

"Lily, why have you been avoiding me? And hanging out with potter! Are you under a spell?" I asked her.

"Severus, I need your help. We need to run away. Something bad is going to happen if. We don't get out of here." She looked scared. I pulled her into a hug.

"Lily it's ok, I won't let that happen." I said trying to soothe her.

"It will, it will if we don't go. Please Severus we need to go." I looked her in the eyes and sore she was on the break of tears. I nodded.

"Okay Lily, we will go." If only we knew Potter was standing in the shadows.

The next day I was walking to potions class when Potter approached me.

"Stay away from Lily! She doesn't need a snake like you hurting her!" He yelled pushing me back into a wall.

"If lily stays with me, I would put her life before my own." I said trying not to show I was in pain.

"Don't touch her, you filthy snake! She deserves so much better then someone like you!" He said. Before punching my jaw and leaving. Is he right? Does Lily need someone better then me? I can't bare to not have her, all I want is her safety. Do I let her go?

I sat if my room, staring at the sealing. Dull as it may be, it still helped me think. I really don't know what I'm going to do, if I leave her ill forever be missing a price of myself. If she stays with me, she will miss a part of herself. I got up, determined to do something other then feel sorry for myself. I walked into the hallway and there was Lily. She sat there smiling into a book. I can't leave her, look at her. I want her to stay like that, to stay happy. I walked over to her and sat down.

"Good book?" I said and she looked up.

"Yeah, Romeo and Juliet is a favourite of mine." She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Severus, I know we still need to talk about all this, but can it wait. I miss just having moments like this with you." I nodded at her, I could never say no. She went back to her reading and stayed by next to her. How could I leave her indeed?

That night I didn't dream, but if I had it would of been of her. I woke up in the early hours of the morning, I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. So I got up and showered. What will a new day bring forth? I sat up at my desk. I decided that if anything was to happen to Lily that I would want her to know my full feelings for her. I grabbed my quill and began to write. I sealed the letter and left it in my top drawer for safe keeping then left for breakfast. Lily was sitting with James again. I tried to make eye contact, but she never looked over at me. This was worrying me, Lily had seemed fine the last time I talked to her. Why won't she look at me? I walked over to her and decided to see what was wrong.

"Lily, is something wrong?" I asked her.

"No, nothing's wrong. What do you want?" I was taken back by this.

"I was just seeing if you were alright." I said to her.

"Well, she's fine snake. Now go." James said.

"I wasn't talking to you Potter." I said sternly.

"Lily, can we talk?" I asked her, she nodded and got up.

We walked out into the hall and then I stopped to turn to her.

"Lily, are you mad at me?" I asked her sounding a little weak.

"No, just leave me alone." She sounded annoyed.

"Lily have I done something?" I asked her moving forward, she moved away from my touch.

"I told you to leave me alone. Severus, we can't be together. It's too late. If I stay near you, you will be hurt. I can't." She said to me trying to sound brave.

"Lily, what about running away. We can still go." I said, now getting upset.

"I can't Severus, leave me alone!" She said to me, now angry.

"But Lily-" she cut me off.

"I can't Severus!" She yelled.

"Lily, please?" I whispered.

"No!" She started to walk away.

"Lily!" I yelled after her.

"Go away Severus, I don't love you!" She yelled back. I fell to my knees. She was gone, I fell to the ground and began to sob, for the first time ever. I Severus Snape, was crying uncontrollably. I ran back to my dorm with tears in my eyes. Lily, my only love. She didn't love me. I'm lost without her, my Lily. I grabbed the letter I had written for her and placed it on my desk, I rote her name on top of it and fell asleep with it on my chest. The next day I didn't get up, I stayed in my room. I didn't care what happened to me. I stayed there as if I was frozen. Three days past, of me just staying in my room. I didn't eat, I barely ever fell asleep and when I did. All I saw was her. I decided that I couldn't keep this up. I got out of bed and went to breakfast. She was there, but she was in the arms of him. James Potter. I looked at her with tears forming in my eyes. She looked back, as if she didn't even recognise me. That's how it stayed. She ever came to talk to me, the few times she did was like we were strangers. I did watch her every day, I wanted to see if anything would change. I wanted to know if lily was really lily. There was something that I was missing, but I couldn't find it. I watch as every long day past, that the girl I loved was falling for another and there was nothing that I could do about it. All I could do was watch. All I could do was watch her heart grow as mine broke. It made me angry, angry beyond anything. I loved her first, not potter. It was me! Merlin I miss her, il make him pay.

Authors note- Hey I know I don't do author notes, but I want to know if you guys want me to do the next part as James or as Lily. Either one will show the part that I want to do, I just don't know which one to pick. Also I'm going to do the normal ending, but because I think it might upset some people I'm doing an alternate ending as a different story. Thanks guys. :)


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